He May Never Know
by grrl77
Summary: She loved him. He just didn't know it. JL


She knew, as soon as she took a step into the Great Hall, that something was off.

He hadn't come up to greet her hello, or ask her about her summer. He didn't even try talking to her. He didn't sit next to her, or even anywhere near her. He didn't try and escort her to the common room. He didn't try to hug her. He simply acted as if he had never known her.

She noticed when he sat by another girl. She noticed how he tried to talk to her and how he made her laugh. She noticed how hard he tried to keep her attention. She noticed his friends sitting across from him, not talking. She also noticed his friends trying to avoid her questioning glare.

She didn't know what had happened in the summer before their seventh year. Something must have changed. He didn't like her anymore. But isn't this what she always wanted? For him to leave her alone? To stop asking her out? No. She had fancied him. The moment he finally gave up, was the exact moment she started see him, the way he had always seen her.

--------

As she sat studying in the common room, or at least trying to study, she heard him come in. As always, he was with the girl. They walked past her, without a glance, and took a seat by the fire. She saw his friends sitting on the other side of the common room talking in quiet voices. They didn't greet him when he had walked in. She sat, staring blankly at the pages in front of her, trying to figure out what had happened. She looked back at his friends, one of then looked up, then glanced at her. She turned away quickly, she didn't want them to know she was looking at them. They apparently didn't like her anymore than he did.

---------

She got down to the Gryffindor table earlier than most people do on a Saturday morning. She made herself a piece of toast with strawberry jam. She didn't realize until after that she doesn't even like strawberry jam, he does. She must have been thinking about him again. She set the toast aside and made another, this time with some grape jam.

Lost in her thoughts, she was startled by a voice.

"Are you going to eat that piece of toast?"

She looked up and saw that it was him.

"Oh, umm…no, you can have it, I guess."

"Thanks."

When he walked away, she realized that that girl was waiting for him. She looked down at her half eaten toast and tried to hide the sadness she knew showed on her face. At least she knew that he knew she still existed. She got up and walked abruptly out of the Great Hall, willing herself not to look at him.

-------

She sat under a tree, near the shore of the lake. She liked the quiet of the night and the moon reflecting on the smooth surface of the water. She thought she was alone, until she heard the grass and leaves rustling as two dark figures walked over them. She moved herself behind the tree so the people would not see her as they took their walk.

She watched them walk past her and she saw it was him and that girl. They stopped and sat down not too far from where she sat. She looked on with envy and she saw them sit together and, as much as she hated to see, share some kisses. She wanted so much to run back into the castle and get as far away as possible but she knew they would see her if she so much as moved a foot.

She tried to hold back the tears that were inevitably forming in her eyes. She knew she had to stay quiet but she couldn't help it when a soft sob made it past her lips. She didn't know exactly why she was crying but couldn't help but think that he was a part of the reason why.

After a while, when the wind had picked up, the couple got up and started back towards the castle. And so quick she almost missed it, he looked back to the place behind the tree where she sat. But after a second, he ran his hand through his hair and turned back to the girl.

She knew that he had seen her.

--------

On another restless night she found herself making the familiar path that led to the kitchens. She always relied on the helpful house elves to give her all the warm, comforting foods she desired. When she tickled the pear and opened the door, she was surprised to see another person in sitting at a table. She was about to turn back around when a voice stopped her.

"You don't have to go. I was about to leave."

It was him.

"Oh, it's okay, I'm not hungry anymore."

"Really, you don't have to leave because of me."

She looked down at her shoes, not sure what to say. When she looked up she saw the wrinkles in his forehead as he thought about something. She was about to open her mouth to say something, when he suddenly spoke.

"I—errm, I'll just go," and without another word, he left.

She wanted to call after him. She wanted to say that she didn't want him to leave. She wanted to tell him she never wanted to leave in the first place. She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to ask why he always ignored her. She wanted to ask what she did to make him dislike her so much. She wanted to tell him how much she missed him. She wanted to say to him that he knew her so much better that she did herself .She wanted to yell at him for giving up on her. She wanted to scream at him, everything that was bottled up inside of her. How much she loved him, how much she wanted him, needed him.

She said nothing at all.

------

She curled up in a chair near the fire alone, as always. She never had any friends that she could confide in or talk about anything to. His friends had, on occasion, made conversation with her. Now they avoided her like the black plague. She wanted to ask them what their problem with her was, but she never did. He probably told them how horrible she was and how hurtful she could be.

She deserved it. She remembered how awful she was to him. How many times she called him arrogant and bigheaded. She remembered when she had yelled at him and told him off, for countless times. She remembered when he would come back the next day and ask her out.

She wanted him to come up to her and ask her out just one more time. She knew that she would say yes. She could picture just how happy he would have been if she had said yes, just one time to him in the past. Now, she knew, he would never ask her out again and how lucky she would be if he didn't hate her guts.

--------

He lay on his bed, alone, thinking. He saw her alone by the fire but he didn't disturb her. He never did anymore. He promised himself not to bother her anymore after sixth year. He knew how much she had hated him. He told his friends leave her be, he thought if she hated him then she must surely hate them as well. He loved her, he only wanted to make her happy, and if she didn't want him then he could handle it. He tried to date but only found himself comparing each girl to her. He didn't know if he would ever forget about her and move on and love someone else.

Sometimes, he didn't want to. He didn't want to forget her. He didn't want to stop loving her. Sometimes he wanted to walk up to her and hold her close and tell her he would do anything for her. But he forced himself to stay away.

He didn't know that she loved him. That everything could be different. That he could have everything he always wanted.

* * *

**AN: Well it's my first story. I hope it was somewhat decent. If you would review, I would be forever grateful. Criticism is always appreciated.**


End file.
